Little Cracks
by LiveLaughLove5
Summary: The cracks came stealthily, small enough to be ignored. They spread slowly, shredding their love, until there was nothing left except sharp, tattered fragments of what once was.
1. Chapter 1

...Hi! I haven't written anything for a really long time, so this might not be all that great. The fact that my beta reader has randomly decided to go MIA doesn't help either. This is also my first time attempting a multi-chapter story (Ahhh!), and I would appreciate any advice! As always, it's a Tezuka/Fuji story! ^_^

* * *

Fuji sighed into the silence. He hated coming back to an empty apartment. In the last few weeks, Tezuka had suddenly become incredibly busy. He was out the door every morning even before Fuji could mumble his goodbye. Tezuka had taken on a second job to "pay for the expenses", and refused to believe that Fuji could live quite happily on wasabi flavored noodles indefinitely. Fuji had offered to work longer hours, but Tezuka had flatly refused, saying that it wouldn't be right to shirk his responsibility.

So, Tezuka came home late every day. Fuji ate alone, and had started watching the only three successive shows that their television received just to drive the silence away. Every night, he fell asleep in front of the flickering screen only to wake up in the bed alone. Technically, he and Tezuka lived together, but they were rarely in the same room, even if they were both at home. The space that was slowly growing between them would soon be too big for their apartment. Fuji found it remarkable how he could feel so alone even if Tezuka was close enough to touch. Heaving another sigh, Fuji dragged himself into the kitchen to prepare a meal that would inadvertently taste of sadness.

* * *

Tezuka sighed, his fingers resting lightly on the handle of the door. He knew what he was doing to Fuji, but somehow, he couldn't stop. A couple months ago, Tezuka lived to see Fuji's smile. Now, he was doing everything humanly possible to avoid it. Whenever he looked at Fuji, he no longer felt a sense of happiness. Instead, he saw all his broken dreams and all their shattered promises. All their hopes from the time they finalized their relationship were methodically shot down, until there was nothing left except memories of times that would never come back. Fuji's smiles were broken or fake nowadays, and the fast the Fuji thought that he didn't know vaguely annoyed Tezuka. After seven years together, Fuji still honestly believed that Tezuka couldn't see past his smiling mask.

Opening the door softly, Tezuka peered inside their apartment. A shaft of light curved around his body to illuminate Fuji sprawled on the couch. The rush of affection he usually felt when he saw Fuji sleeping in his failed vigil for Tezuka's return was absent. Instead, anger and frustration crawled over his entire body. Didn't Fuji realize that he didn't want people hovering over him all the time?

Closing his eyes against the unexpected pain, Tezuka passed the couch and went to bed alone.

* * *

Fuji opened his eyes and gazed sadly at Tezuka's retreating back. Today, and only today, he had feigned sleep just to feel Tezuka carry him. Apparently, he was to be denied this small pleasure as well. Fuji remembered how silly they were when they first made their relationship official. Tezuka would smile whenever their eyes met, although he always made sure that nobody they knew was around. Fuji would walk around, humming stanzas of songs that flitted in and out of his head just because of the joy that Tezuka's love gave him. When had just being together ceased to make them happy? Why was there only sorrow around them now?

A solitary tear slipped down Fuji's cheek. As if it had been a trigger, all the hurt, sadness, and frustration that he had compressed inside him burst out, racking his body in silent sobs. When Fuji woke up the next morning, his pillow would still be damp.


	2. Chapter 2

Tezuka woke up promptly at 5:30 every morning, a time that Fuji considered too early to be coherent. After a quick shower, Tezuka would go jog around their apartment complex (his laps fixation hadn't worn off yet), and return in time to save the meal prepared by a sleepy and slightly disoriented Fuji. They would eat in a silence that had shifted from comfortable to awkward in the past few weeks before Tezuka left for work.

Tezuka worked as a part-time accountant in a prestigious bank. It was an odd choice for a person who once cherished dreams of being a professional tennis player, but Tezuka had no choice. A month before Tezuka's debut in the sports world, the doctors had given him an ultimatum-tennis or a functioning shoulder. So, Tezuka quietly apologized to his manager, and left the courts that he had worked so hard to reach. It wasn't an easy decision, but the doctor's diagnosis stilled his fingers whenever they itched for a tennis racket. Tezuka loved tennis, every exhilarating moment, but he silently let go of the only dream he had nurtured for many long years. He locked his longing somewhere deep inside of him until he could walk by a tennis court without feeling bitterness rise deep inside him.

Being an exceptional student, Tezuka was promptly accepted into the Tokyo University, where he graduated with honors in mathematics. Less than a year after his graduation, he was offered a part-time job in the Bank of Japan. Fuji had been the only person who hadn't congratulated him. Instead, he has wrapped his fingers around Tezuka's, and smiled sadly.

* * *

"Good morning!" Fuji beamed as he walked into Click. Immediately, a redhead blurred his way across the store and enveloped Fuji in a hug. "Fujiiiiiii!", Eiji wailed, "Yumi hid my toothpaste!" Fuji blinked, perplexed, before letting a smile stretch across his face, "Eiji, why did you bring your toothpaste to work?" The toothpaste stealer popped up from behind a shelf of cameras, and launched/embarked on a rather accurate impression of Eiji, "Toothpaste is very important, nya! It makes your teeth sparkle! And the shop had a limited edition of flavored toothpaste! If Eiji waited until after work, it would be all gone! So, he got up early to buy toothpaste, but then I stole it!"

Yumi sighed, and turned to face Amaya, "How does Eiji talk for so long without breathing?" Thoughtfully biting her lip, Amaya ventured, "Do you think he's a zombie? No, he's too happy to be one." "Prejudice!" Eiji accusingly pointed at Amaya, "Why can't zombies be happy? They don't have to be emotionless and creepy all the time!" Fuji cut in, "Maybe because they're the undead?" Eiji, momentarily stalled, tilted his head in confusion, "I thought that vampires were the undead, nya."

A tall boy wandered into the room, holding a list of merchandise. Fuji smiled, "Look, its Keichi. Why don't you go ask him, Eiji?" Eiji beamed at Fuji and complied. He skipped over to Kiyoshi, and repeated the question. Keichi blinked twice before giving an answer that caused Eiji to leap up in joy, "Hah, Amaya! Vampires are the undead!"

* * *

"Enter Tezuka Kunimitsu-sama!" a voice announced as Tezuka stepped into the brightly lit room, "Why are you so punctual?" Tezuka glanced briefly at the lanky boy before hanging up his coat, "I don't think Sachiko could last a minute longer with you." Sachiko laughed as she walked past Tezuka, her arms full with a three-step staircase, "That's true. Kiyoshi is far too enthusiastic to deal with all day." "I'm happy." Kiyoshi said grandly, "And happy people bring happiness to the miserable ones." "That, or headaches." Tezuka pointed out, stifling a beginning of a smile as Sachiko pulled a face behind Kiyoshi's back.

Cutting in, Sachiko pivoted to address Tezuka, "Speaking of headaches, and pain in general, we're getting a new patient today. It's a knee injury. I understand that she's a tennis player, so I assigned her to you, Kunimitsu." Tezuka nodded, "It's Wednesday, so she'll come now, right? I have Sawatada-san at 3:30, Higa-san at 4 and Yamamoto-san at 5." The chime of the doorbell broke up their conversation. Tezuka turned to greet hi s new patient, but stopped in his tracks. A tall girl with soft black eyes peering gently out of a porcelain face shook her hair free and smiled breathlessly at the trio of physical therapists, "Good afternoon. I'm Kimura Aiko. Apparently, someone named Tezuka Kunimitsu is supposed to be my trainer?"

Tezuka, at a loss for words, was saved from speaking by Sachiko. As she introduced them to each other, Tezuka fought to keep the slow flush from spreading across his face. He loved Wednesdays.

* * *

"Thank you for all your help, Fuji-san." Fuji smiled politely at the man in front of him, "It was my pleasure. Don't forget, we can print your pictures here." The customer picked up the bag and returned Fuji's smile, "I won't. You said that this camera has a one-year warranty, right" Nodding, Fuji answered, "Yes, but you won't really need it. This camera won't break unless you throw it down a cliff. It's quite sturdy." "I'll remember that", Fuji's customer laughed, "Goodbye."

Heaving a sigh as the shop cleared out, Fuji looked around. Keichi and Yumi were cleaning up, talking quietly. Eiji was straightening out a stack of merchandise that he has knocked down a couple minutes ago. Suddenly, Fuji's breath caught; stopped by the overpowering loneliness that was becoming all too familiar. He was surrounded by his friends, but at that moment, they felt too distant to be truly tangible. The intensity of his emotions was so great that he jumped slightly when Amaya walked up to him and lightly touched his shoulder, "Hi." Fuji quickly fixed a smile on his face, "Hi. Is everything cleaned up?" Glancing around, Amaya nodded, "Just about. Eiji's still missing though." Fuji started laughing, but stopped abruptly as his best friend tackled him from behind, "Fuji!! Oishi has to work late today!" Looking down at Fuji with limpid eyes, Eiji smiled winningly, "Will you eat dinner with me today, Fujiko?" Fuji hesitated, "I don't know, Eiji. Tezuka and I usually eat together." It was a white lie, but one he has to make for Eiji. Tezuka used to wait for him even if Fuji came home at 10. If Fuji insisted that Tezuka eat, he would just look at Fuji and tell him that the food was bland if he had to eat alone. Eiji pouted, "Please, Fuji? Tezuka won't miss you if you don't eat together just one day!"

Smiling sadly at the irony or his current situation, Fuji nodded, "Yes, he won't miss me. Let's go, Eiji."


	3. Chapter 3

Tezuka was nervous. This wasn't a normal occurance, but today, he couldn't stop himself from looking over at the door every couple of seconds. Aiko was coming. Tezuka looked at the clock at sighed. He wanted her to be late, so he wouldn't feel this. He didn't want her to be intelligent and funny. He didn't want her to look at him with that beautiful smile on her face. He didn't want her to make him fall in love with her.

* * *

Fuji couldn't understand what had happened to him. He was the tensai of Seigaku. He was in a relationship that everyone thought could last through anything. He was good at his job, and he had friends that supported him no matter what happened. Yet, he felt trapped. Tezuka was drifting away, and he felt like all the potential he had felt his future possessed was slipping away. Fuji was working in a camera store. None of his pictures were recognized yet, and Tezuka would never become a professional tennis player. They lived in an apartment that was slowly suffocating them with hostility. What had happened to their dreams? Why had everything except their relationship turn out to be nothing but disappointed hopes? What if his relationship with Tezuka, the only thing he had left from a much happier past, turned out to be nothing too? What would Fuji have left, except an empty life?

* * *

Tezuka had no idea how he had ended up sitting at the nearby sushi restaurant with Aiko, Kiyoshi, Sachiko, and her husband. He wouldn't have minded it so much if Aiko stopped laughing at everything Kiyoshi said. Tezuka couldn't understand why Aiko had tears streaming down her face because of things he found vaguely amusing. Kiyoshi's actions were predictable. His stories were too exaggerated to be real. Yet, Aiko was laughing. Tezuka looked at the girl next to him, her face flushed from enjoyment. Just then, she turned and exposed Tezuka to the full intensity of her smile. Unconsiously, Tezuka's face softened as he looked at Aiko's obvious happiness.

"Aren't you glad that you came, Tezuka-kun?" Tezuka could feel the beginnings of a smile spread across his face, "Yes, I am." Satisfied, Aiko let her smile linger on Tezuka a beat longer before turning back to the table. "Kunimitsu!" Tezuka raised his eyebrow at Kiyoshi. "I'm going to impersonate something, and you guess what it is!" Tezuka gave Kiyoshi a half expaserated, half puzzled look, "How much have you had to drink?" "Not that much!" "A lot." Kiyoshi and Sachiko answered at the same time, but Tezuka felt more inclined to believe Sachiko. Kiyoshi was swaying slightly, his fists planted dramatically on his hips.

"Anyway! Let's do this!" A highly awkward minute later, consisting of Kiyoshi making strange bobbing motions and he pranced around the room, Tezuka ventured, "A duck?" "No!" Kiyoshi fell to the floor in mock despair, "No! I'm a crane!" Tezuka blinked, "One, you weren't supposed to tell me now, and two, you were waddling." Aiko burst out in laughter next to him as Kiyoshi sputtered out a couple unintelligible words, "Tezuka-kun, I think I agree with you about the waddling." This time, when Aiko smiled up at him, Tezuka didn't hold back. He smiled back at Aiko and let the little tendril of happiness he had within him spread. He was happy again. He used to be this happy before. Fuji used to make him this happy before by just looking at him. Now, for the first time in months, he was smiling like that again. The only difference was that he was smiling for someone else.

* * *

They used to love doing puzzles. Everyone laughed at them for buying dozens of them, but Tezuka and Fuji loved figuring them out. Fuji would pick the ones with the most confusing designs because he knew that Tezuka loved challenging himself. Fuji just liked to see the design slowing construct itself, piece by piece. The final product was always more than the sum of its' parts. Each puzzle piece was insignificant by itself, but when all of them were put together, it was beautiful.

Fuji smiled a little to himself as he allowed hope to blossom up inside him. Maybe if they revisted the things the used to love, he and Tezuka could work through their problems. It had been almost a year since they had started having problems, but Fuji hoped that today would be the day when everything turned around. They had so much fun before. It was so easy before. Maybe, now, Tezuka would fall in love with him again, and they would be happy again.

That thought made Fuji's smile widen until it was almost as bright as what it used to be before. He settled down on the carpet, and waited for Tezuka to come home. Tezuka had said that he would be a little late, and to eat without him, but Fuji had decided to wait. Things were going to change. This had been dragging on for too long. He was going to fix things with Tezuka.

The key sounded in the lock, and Fuji's head shot up. A sudden wave of nervousness overtook him. He didn't know what he was going to do. He never planned things out the way Tezuka did, but he was completely clueless. This wasn't a big change from how he usually was, and it had always worked out before. A bewildering mix of hope, panic, despair, and love welled up inside of him. Fuji swallowed nervously as the door opened and Tezuka stepped inside.

"Kunimitsu!" Did his voice sound too happy? Was he trying too hard? "How was your day?" Tezuka looked at Fuji, surprised by the change in routine. "It was good. What are you doing?" "A puzzle." Fuji smiled up at Tezuka, hoping that he would see all the love that Fuji had for him, "Do you want to help?" Tezuka hesitated for a moment, causing Fuji to almost seize up from the tension, "Yes." Fuji smiled again, tears of relief almost coming to his eyes.

He knew that he shouldn't be so excited when Tezuka settled down on the floor next to him, but Fuji couldn't help it. He loved Tezuka. "I found the corner." Tezuka always started with a corner. Fuji felt himself slipping back into familiarity. He was so happy he could hardly breathe. "I think these two go together. Yes, they fit." Fuji smiled down at the pieces; Tezuka's hand just beyond them, searching for another part.

They fell into a comfortable silence, broken only by occasional questions about the puzzle. Fuji wanted to talk more, but he didn't want to push it. Suddenly, Tezuka looked at Fuji, a twisted smile on his face, "I've made you sad, haven't I, Syuuske?" Fuji's eyes widened, his face frozen in shock. He wanted to tell Tezuka that it wasn't true, but he couldn't. Tezuka had made him cry, but he didn't resent it. He loved Tezuka. Tezuka seemed to have gotten his answer in Fuji's silence. He reached over, his face tinged with sadness, and softly put his hand over Fuji's, "I'm sorry for hurting you."

* * *

A/N: I have finally decided to attempt to finish this story. Writing this chapter has been a struggle, which is why I haven't updated in so long. Thank you to all the people who read this even though I haven't written anything in a long time! As always, reviews are appreciated.


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